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	<title>Guaranteed to NOT Show Up</title>
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	<description>Of course!  I'd LOVE to see your band!</description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Sep 2008 19:52:25 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>The Reign of the So Cal Japanese Noise</title>
		<link>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/the-reign-of-the-so-cal-japanese-noise/</link>
		<comments>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/the-reign-of-the-so-cal-japanese-noise/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 15 Nov 2006 06:05:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Acid Mothers Temple]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Boredoms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Boris]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Green Milk from the Planet Orange]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Hot IQs]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Japs]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Keiji Haino]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Loudness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Nip Drivers]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Ruins]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[The Ants]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[The Brick]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[melt-banana]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/the-reign-of-the-soco-japanese-noise/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[After a few mentions of the greatness of the Japanese at making what seems to be marketed as music (Ruins, Boris, Acid Mothers Temple, Green Milk from the Planet Orange, Melt-Banana, Keiji Haino, let alone the earlier school of bands like Boredoms and that girl-pop band Sonic Youth liked), I thought to myself, &#8220;WHAT THIS [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Creamed Corn from the Temple of Anus</title>
		<link>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/hiroshima/</link>
		<comments>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/hiroshima/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Nov 2006 03:14:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Acid Mothers Temple]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[American People]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Bill Colburn]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Birchville Cat Motel]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Black Boned Angel]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Black Rabbits]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Boris]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[CAN]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Cher UK]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Cork Flooring]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[D.J. Clem]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Japs]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Keiji Haino]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Mike McCoy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Record Bar]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Scat]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Wood Roses]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[melt-banana]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/hiroshima/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[href="http://www.replaylounge.com">The Replay.  Alas, Wood Roses is in Lawrence, so that will win the toss up, yet I don't expect to stay for much more than the time it takes me to drop of an old 1/4" 4-track for somebody.

Green Milk from the Planet Orange makes me think "Creamed Corn from the Temple of Anus" every time I hear it.  So I did a Google search for "Temple of Anus" and found only three hits, all of them making reference to the poster above.  Go figure.  I would think that given there is a website for every godforsaken bodily function being performed on Japanese chicks and for fat guys in shit-filled diapers being changed by girls in pigtails and halter tops that there would have been <i>something</i> funnier in the "Temple of Anus" world.  But nope.  This means two things:  There is still one more porn movie title left, and there is one more sex genre to be explored.  I'll let you get right on that.  Not my thing.  I'm busy.

Speaking of shitting on Japanese chicks, why are the Japanese beating the shit out of us at rock these days?  Between the Japs and the New Zealanders, we hardly stand a chance.  Melt-Banana, Acid Mothers Temple, Boris, Black Boned Angel, Birchville Cat Motel, and Green Corn from the Socket Orange or whatever.  Plus that <a href="http://poisonpie.com/sounds/haino/">Keiji Haino</a> douchebag who manages to crank out something every few weeks.  There was a period when Thurston Moore was taking a dump on about 200 records a year, and I kind of think of Haino as that kind of guy.  I think that is a flattering thing to say about both of them.  I think.

From what I can tell, The Creamed Milk from Planet Davis guys sit down while they play.  That isn't how I like my Japanese noise / prog / whatever.  Sitting down?  When they rock out, do they do chair-bound hair flips?  Instead of jumps and stomps and shit, do they just fall out of their chairs?  WTF is that about?  I've really never seen footage of them standing up.  God, I hope they're not crippled.  Then I'd feel horrible.]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>(not) Funny Bands on MySpace &#8212; Leslie and the Lys</title>
		<link>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/fat-is-funny/</link>
		<comments>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/fat-is-funny/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 11 Nov 2006 19:15:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA["Funny" Bands]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Bacon Shoe]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dane Cook's "comedy"]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[MySpace Rant]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Record Bar]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Wes's Pizza]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[black nasty]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/?p=13</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Steve Reich @ 70 is going on and I’m talking about a Wal-Mart greeter with a webcam.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/fat-is-funny/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Oh good lord.  Begging for Press to What Lengths?</title>
		<link>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/stupid-post/</link>
		<comments>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/stupid-post/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 07 Nov 2006 12:37:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA["Funny" Bands]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Bacon Shoe]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[D.J. Clem]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Ghosty]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Greg Franklin]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[In The Pines]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Jackie Carol]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[John Bersuch]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[John Ferguson]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Local Music (read: irrelevant)]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[MySpace Rant]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Nathan Ellis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[black nasty]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/?p=11</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Received today:


Reply &#124; Reply to all &#124; Forward &#124; Print &#124; Add sender to Contacts list &#124; Delete this message &#124; Report phishing &#124; Show original &#124; Message text garbled?
From: John Bersuch [baconshoe@gmail.com]
Mailed-By: gmail.com
To: Scott [scott@guaranteedtonotshowup.com]
Date: Nov 6, 2006 4:19 PM
Subject: hello scott
would you please consider not going to the bacon shoe show?  i [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>In the Pines &#8212; missed again?  CHECK!</title>
		<link>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/out-of-the-pines/</link>
		<comments>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/out-of-the-pines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 06 Nov 2006 07:23:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Blue Leaves]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Borat]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Cork Flooring]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Craig Comstock]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dan Askew]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[In The Pines]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Local Music (read: irrelevant)]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[MySpace Rant]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[P.W. Long]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Second Nature Recordings]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Tawni Freeland]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/?p=6</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Did we want O'Connor and Dickey characters moping with a tight, soaring confidence?   Do we want our backwoods wisdom to be punchy?  I liked the chick-voices when they were coming from the woods rather than the iso-booth.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/out-of-the-pines/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>In the Pines record release party?  Nope.</title>
		<link>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/welcome-to-the-world-of-nope/</link>
		<comments>http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/welcome-to-the-world-of-nope/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Nov 2006 07:20:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Scott</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Blue Leaves]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Cork Flooring]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Dan Askew]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[In The Pines]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Local Music (read: irrelevant)]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[MySpace Rant]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Second Nature Recordings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.guaranteedtonotshowup.com/?p=3</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was a mean motherfucker in my time]]></description>
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